like, ya know, sometimes whenever a couple of humans start fighting and yelling, a cat will peek its head out from around the corner to see whats going on...

i swear there is a cat fight going on outside and i feel like checking it out!

ah, another case of murder, but this time, the victim was a cat! ah yes, hello ladies and gentelmen, its me, the animal homicide investigator. yes, im rather like santa clause. i must be two places at once, or three, or four. i am here to declare this cat murdered at

5122 village pines circle. apt #7

at the time of 9:18 pm

mr, can you confirm this crime?

well, i was just sitting patiently for a friend to come over... i was adjusting myself in the mirror & imagining the future, that is... i was thinking about fucking, but more importantly, i was thinking about foreplay at the dinning table, in the bathroom, in the tub, in the bed, in the morning. when all of a sudden, an animal screamed and thumped in the outside corridor. i heard fighting. yes, thats right mr cat, there was a crime!

and you maam?

i had gotten home a few hours ago & when i checked the mailbox on the way up to the apartment, i spoke with a couple of lovely young gentelmen. ya see, i just got laid off. i was checking the mailbox for a very hopeful letter. ive been applying to new schools in the area for head start and substitute teaching...

maam?

oh yes, later on, when i was watching my favorite tv program, i heard something in the outside corridor.

what did you hear?

at first, it sounded like a screaming child, but then it sounded like bill and julie fighting. they were arguing about something absurd like why the furniture needs to be re-arranged. something about fung-shwey, yeah thats what i heard! yes, bill and julie are my favorite characters of the show.

ahem, maam, i must be off, ive got shit to do!