you ego contorted man, you confused little boy. i almost cant bear to be around you sometimes. i cant stand to hear you say that. theres this home video from when he was five. his room has plush red carpet and his walls are white panelled with thin black stripes. he sits on the floor in front of a mirror with a clown costume and a painted face. he stands ackwardly in a doorway, almost posed. his eyes are penetrating but his thoughts are wandering -- eyebrows raise and lower, smiles appear and dissappear. i can already tell you how he is going to kill himself: he is going to ingest a few things, first, he's going to swallow a few pills, drink some shampoo, and eat petroleum jelly. then, he's going to put a few things in his body that he cant digest, like feathers and animal bones, then he's going to sip on rubbing alcohol. after that, when he's still alive, he is going to put grass and feces in his mouth, then he's going to find the most poisonous mushroom. he is going to mix it up in a potion with jack daniels whiskey-- he's going to lay in the dark and sip on that potion until he cant see anymore.